3. Leave your ego out of it.
Now, this takes mustering up some serious humility often, not easy. It takes self-esteem. It takes strength. It takes courage. But when you can get to the place where you can do this, let me tell you, it is so worth it. Now, when I say, “Leave your ego out of it “and mustering up humility,” this doesn’t mean that we roll over and play doormat- Not at all.
But what it does mean is we choose as I said earlier, we decide whether or not we’re even going to respond. We don’t react like a wounded inner child or a puppet on strings. We are sovereign. We get to choose. We don’t need to have the last word. We don’t need to get involved in who’s going to win the right fight. We can leave our ego out of it and stand sovereign in our personal power, without handing over our vital life force energy and rolling around in the mud with someone who really enjoys rolling around in the mud, right? Dragging us down to their level.
When we’re able to leave our ego out of it, and we have no need or desire to win the right fight, have the last word, I promise you, we are beating the narcissist at their own game. In fact, we’re now playing a game that they can’t even begin to understand. It’s called personal power, sovereignty. It’s a good place to be.
4. Practice using the grey rock method.
Becoming the grey rock in the dynamic with the narcissist is a very powerful and effective way to accomplish a couple of things. First of all, I’m no longer giving my power away, right? I am sovereign. In addition, they are starved of narcissistic supply.
Now the reality is when we first employ the grey rock method and we’re suddenly not reacting, not playing, not engaging, not living our life like a puppet on strings for them to come along and poke at and provoke and prod at will. When we’re no longer doing that and we go grey rock on them, the reality is things might get worse before they get better, temporarily.
But if you remain consistent, reliable, predictable in that grey rock stance. “I refuse to play. “I am not interested and I am not interesting.” You are no longer a yummy target. You are no longer any fun to play with. And eventually, they have to go somewhere else to get their sick hit, their sick fix, their sick needs met, their need for narcissistic supply.
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