Number 4: Avoid criticism if you care about keeping the peace.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to any perceived criticism. So saying anything to a narcissist that can be perceived as critical, or worse yet, disrespectful in the narcissist’s mind, even if you think you’re just trying to communicate, or you’re giving constructive criticism in the hopes of being helpful, finding some kind of middle ground or resolution, don’t bother. It won’t end well. And whatever you do, never say anything humiliating to the narcissist on purpose. It can be tempting to do so, but hardly worth it. So save your breath and your energy for more important things.
Even covert narcissists have great big huge overinflated egos that are super-duper sensitive. They can take even the most innocent comment in passing and turn it into a slight, an insult, especially if your innocent comment in passing happens to bump up against something they know deep down is true about themselves, but aren’t willing to look at, acknowledge, or deal with. So talk about the weather or how yummy dinner is. Don’t go any deeper than that, and you’ll be much better off.
Number 5: Don’t capitulate.
You should never say anything that sends the message that you’re willing to stand still and allow yourself to be mocked, bullied, criticized, lied to, or lied about verbally, or in any way otherwise abused by the narcissist and their enabling entourage. Now, of course, the easiest way to not capitulate is to establish no contact. Nothing sends the message that you’re not playing more clearly than the radio silence produced by your complete absence, but I totally get that it’s not always possible or even feasible immediately.
So in the interim, your best strategy for not capitulating to a narcissist is to get really good and strong at setting healthy limits and boundaries. And if you want to know how to set boundaries with a narcissist in a way that works, you can read this article here.
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