#7: Your actions are hurting these other people.
The last thing I have for you today—something that narcissists often say—is, “Your actions are hurting these other people.” So when a narcissist realizes that they’re losing control over you and you’re not buying into the other things the narcissist typically says to keep you under control, you’re starting to break free. They’re very likely to use other people to make you feel guilty.
So here’s an example: You have no contact with the narcissist in your life, or you’re using extreme gray rock. You only see them when you absolutely have to, and you have absolutely nothing to say to them. In doing so, in the process, you’ve likely realized that you’ve had to cut a few people out of your life as well. It might be the narcissist’s family, and it might be mutual friends, or even some of your own family members. These are really tough decisions to make, but if you’ve identified that these people are flying monkeys—that they’re going to go back to the narcissist and tell them things about you—you’ve made the right decision.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
But the narcissist is likely to make you feel guilty for it, and they’re very likely to bring it up. Whether it’s true or not, they’re very likely to say, “Oh well, you know, so-and-so is heartbroken,” or “I can’t believe you cut this person off; that’s so cold and heartless.” They’re likely to play on your emotions towards people who aren’t narcissists because it’s more likely to work. You’re more likely, once you’ve identified that someone is a narcissist and you know what you have to do—even though it’s hard, even if you’re still in the trauma and everything in you tells you that you want to go back—you know what you have to do, and you’re willing to do it.
When it comes to the other people, the narcissist knows that they can get you. So they might use other people to make you feel guilty for cutting the narcissist and possibly cutting other people out of your life. The goal of making you feel guilty is to get you back under control. If you let these people back into your life and they are flying monkeys, the narcissist is gonna learn more about you, and they’re going to have a path to get to you. These people may tell you information about the narcissist, and they may get information from you and give it to the narcissist. So that narcissist has an open path again, where you had previously closed it.
So it’s just another way to get you under control. You can be sure that the narcissist does not care about anyone else’s emotions. They don’t care that somebody else has hurt feelings. They don’t; they’re only bringing it up to get to you.
Okay, so those are seven things the narcissist may say in your relationship to excuse their own bad behavior and to keep you under their control. If you have more, let me know in the comments; I’m sure you do.
Read More: 10 Weird Things Narcissists Do S£xµally.
Sharing is caring!
