1. Smear campaign
If you take your attention away from the narcissist, they will smear you. Even if you stop talking to them for just a short period of time, the narcissist will run to anyone who will listen. They will tell them horrible things about you. They will say that you’re a liar or cheater, and they will try to make people think that you’re crazy. Narcissists usually turn the tables on what actually happened between you and them so that it favors them.
They do this to gain sympathy from other people because it gives them a narcissistic supply. They will spread rumors and gossip and they can talk to other people about you for hours. And they enjoy talking about other people’s private lives, and they always manage to find people who also enjoy gossiping. Narcissists always manage to find people who believe what they’re saying.
These people are known as the flying monkeys, and they will often come after you. They do the dirty work on behalf of the narcissist. Many of them are narcissistic but some of them don’t even know what they’re doing. If they contact you, it’s because the narcissist has told them to do that and they have already been fed the false narrative by the narcissist. Some of them know exactly what they’re doing, but others are not fully aware of how their behavior might be affecting you. They just want you to reach out to the narcissist. They want you to help or support them.
The narcissist may even contact your friends and family. They will say horrible things about you, and they will say that you’ve just abandoned them. Whenever you ignore the narcissist, they’re always going to tell people that you’re doing something wrong. They’re not going to see it as though you need space, not going to see it as though it’s an effect of their behavior.
When the narcissist knows that you won’t talk to them directly, they will enforce their flying monkeys or they will contact your family and friends. They don’t care about your self-preservation. They don’t care that you need time to yourself. All they care about is their own feelings and needs, so they will do whatever it takes to pull you back in regardless of how it affects you.
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