#3: Lack of self-awareness.
Now let’s dig a little bit deeper into that self-reflection. A narcissist really does lack the self-awareness necessary to improve and better themselves, because, after all, if you’re already perfect, or if you think you’re already perfect, if you know everything, then there’s nothing left to learn. If you think you’re perfect, there’s nothing left to improve. And this really stands in the way of having a healthy relationship with anyone, because we all make mistakes. We’re all human and flawed. And self-development is a lifelong process. Once you feel like you’ve gotten to the point where, okay, I’m done, I’m healed, I’m fully developed, I have nowhere else to go, that’s when you’re in trouble.
Because even when you’re healing wounds from the past, even when you’re unpacking some maybe bad behaviors that you’ve had and addressing them and moving forward, there’s always new stuff that’s added to the mix, and there’s new stuff that’s kicked up in the dirt as you start doing that healing work. So, if you’re on this journey, if you’re doing the healing work, understand that it is a process. And this is why it’s really important to have patience with yourself. This is definitely a journey, but it’s a journey that a narcissist will never go on, because they cannot. It’s very painful for them to have that level of self-reflection.
Read More: 6 Things That Hurt a Narcissist Forever!
#4: Authenticity.
Another thing that a narcissist will never have is authenticity. And this one can be a little bit surprising, because if you think about what authenticity is and what authenticity looks like, sometimes it looks like a narcissist is just totally being truly their authentic self because they don’t care what other people think. But that’s actually not authenticity, and I think this is a really good lesson that we can learn from narcissists. You can not care what other people think and not be you. Also, you see, somebody who does not have the ability to self-reflect and the ability to be truly vulnerable cannot be authentic, because in those things, you will find authenticity.
A narcissist really projects and believes in a false version of themselves—a version of themselves that is perfect. And we know that no one can be perfect—a version of themselves that is better, superior to everyone else. And we know that that’s not reality. And so if it’s not real, it’s not authentic.
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