#1: A genuine relationship.
The first thing a narcissist will never have is a true and genuine relationship. Now, other people may think that they’re having a true and genuine relationship with a narcissist before they really see them for who they are. But a narcissist, on their end, cannot connect in the way that they would need to in order to have a true relationship. Because, as we know, a true relationship is about give and take, and a narcissist is only about take.
So, the narcissist really is stuck in this cycle of seeking supply. And so, they want people to adore them. They want people to love them. They really do want your love and affection, your admiration. But the problem is that relationships are a two-way street. As soon as somebody sees that they’re not getting really anything in return out of a relationship with a narcissist, things are going to start to fall apart pretty quickly. And usually, what happens is that the discard phase sets in well before that person really realizes what’s going on and would even think about up and leaving.
But if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, around the time you start realizing that you’re not getting what you’re giving, is around the time when a narcissist will start to devalue you. Somewhere deep down, they know they can’t have that true, genuine relationship, and at this point, it has to be your fault that they can’t have it. It cannot be their fault, so you become the enemy when you were once put on a pedestal.
For More: 5 Things a Narcissist does when they’re alone.
#2: Empathy.
Another thing that a narcissist will never have, at least not a lot of, is empathy. Narcissists lack emotional empathy, so they lack the ability to have that true human connection. They can understand that you have feelings, and they can understand why you might have those feelings, but they lack the ability to connect with them. And even if they had the same emotions in the same situation, they see it in you as weakness. The reason they see these emotions as weaknesses is because they are only thinking about themselves and their perspective, and they see your emotions as something that they can, and likely will, exploit.
So, similarly, narcissists also see vulnerability as a sign of weakness, and this is also something that they will never have. The reason why they won’t have vulnerability is because they aren’t connected to those parts of themselves. If you’ve known a narcissist for long enough, you know that they’re not really capable of any deep level of self-reflection. And so, they’re not accessing those deep levels of emotions. With a narcissist, there’s so much that is suppressed because they really need to see this grandiose version of themselves that they’ve built up in their heads—this perfect version of themselves that can’t be wrong and can’t have all those human flaws that the rest of the world is plagued with.
Suggested Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
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