I’ve got hundreds of emails from people saying they felt like they were tricked in their relationships. That, in the beginning, their partner was charming and loving, but once things got more serious or once they moved in together, their partner seemed to flip on them. It was only after months or years of painfully trying to get out of that relationship that they figured out, “I think my partner was a narcissist.” So I started to make a list of all of the early warning signs that they gave me, and hopefully that can help someone else not get stuck in those potentially dangerous relationships.
If you’ve been through that, I just want to say I’m so sorry. My goal is never for you to feel shame; you don’t ever deserve to be abused or mistreated. We can all be too trusting or too giving, and that’s not something that you need to beat yourself up over. This isn’t about victim blaming; this is about empowering ourselves and educating others.
We throw around the word “narcissism” a lot these days. We make it an umbrella term for a lot of things, and yes, it’s important to know the warning signs of narcissism. That’s why I’m making this article.
If you only remember one thing from this article, I want it to be that the primary need for any relationship is safety. You can’t have safety without trust, respect, and kindness. Regardless of if someone meets criteria for a narcissist or not, it’s up to us to do everything we can to advocate for our legitimate needs in our relationships.
Having said that, these are my top red flags for exposing narcissism as early as possible.
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