Number 1: Acknowledge and let go of your self-criticism.
One of the first things people have a tendency to do after a relationship or marriage has ended is blame themselves. If you find yourself saying, “Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hard on them,” or, “Maybe I was the actual abuser? Was I hurting them?” we want you to understand that you are not the reason for their abusive behavior. It is important to understand that you did the right thing by leaving and acknowledging that. You will only begin the healing process by accepting who is truly at blame and freeing yourself of those negative thoughts and self-doubts.
Many victims also blame themselves and self-criticize for allowing the relationship to carry on as long as it did. That is also not a reason to carry those negative thoughts around. It is understandable to stay with someone you are used to and comfortable with. You are on your way to healing from narcissistic abuse by acknowledging yourself in a position of power instead of being controlled.
Number 2: Praise yourself for your mistakes.
In a narcissistic relationship, you are constantly punished for mistakes you make, big or small. You are consistently gaslighted and made to feel your mistakes are worse than they are. With a mindset like that embedded into your brain, you become terrified to make mistakes and over time you may find yourself punishing yourself. An important way to break free of the trauma of emotional abuse is to praise yourself for making those mistakes and allowing yourself to accept them.
It is important to give yourself daily admiration for being you completely and allowing the mistakes to shape you into the person you want to become. Accepting big and small mistakes is an important step to take for healing from narcissistic abuse. These mistakes should not be thought of as end-of-the-world situations, but rather as problems that can help you heal from the trauma that you went through.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
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