#1. Being happy in any way, shape, or form.
The narcissist does not want you to be happy in any way, shape, or form because they are inherently very deeply unhappy, deep down inside. They don’t want to see anybody else happy because they’re not happy. The dichotomy about it is that they’ll go around telling everybody how happy they are; they appear confident, and they want you to think that they’ve got this great life—that everything is hunky-dory and roses and rainbows—and all of that for them. Regardless of whether they’re a grandiose narcissist or a covert narcissist, they’ll tell you that everything is fabulous for them, but deep down inside, they are deeply unhappy. You’ll even know, if you’re close to them, that they’ve kind of got these two sides.
You being happy in any way is something that they just cannot stand, and that’s why they ruin holidays, that’s why they ruin birthdays, and that’s why they ruin special occasions—because they cannot stand you being happy. That’s why they can’t stand other people being happy. If you have something good happen to you, they don’t like that. They don’t want to see you celebrating; it makes them miserable when you’re happy in any way.
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