4. Red flags are no longer red flags, they’re deal-breakers.
The next lesson that needs to be learned from having a relationship with a narcissist is that red flags are no longer red flags, they’re deal-breakers. When we all look back at the beginning of our relationships with the narcissists, we saw red flag after red flag after red flag, and we ignored them, or we made lame excuses for them or gaslighted ourselves into believing we didn’t actually see what we know we saw.
If you have had a relationship with a narcissist and have not learned this lesson, then I hope that you will heed my warning. If you ignore red flags in the beginning, trust me when I tell you, you will regret that decision later on. Those of us who have learned our lessons from the relationships that we have had with narcissistic people, know that red flags aren’t merely warnings, they are deal-breakers.
If we have learned our lessons from this experience when we see a red flag, we walk. It’s as simple as that.
A Wonderful book: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse
5. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
Meaning when someone treats you with disrespect, disregard, or cruelty, they are showing you the kind of person that they truly are. If you have learned your lessons, then when someone shows you a side of themselves that is destructive, damaging, or harmful, we believe that about them. We don’t need any more validation that is their true character and the kind of person that they are. We believe them the first time they show us that side of them. And again, we walk away, lesson learned.
Read more: Six Stages of Healing From Hidden Abuse
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