Number 2: “That’s not what I meant.”
The narcissist didn’t mean for what they said to come across like that. Looks like you’ve just misinterpreted it and are taking it the wrong way. Right? Wrong. This phrase is pretty much a way to dodge taking responsibility, something narcissists are really good at. They’re like slippery eels, you know? They throw this phrase out there to make it seem like you’ve got things all wrong, flipping the blame back onto you. For example, if your narcissistic partner insults your job and then says, “I didn’t mean it like that,” they’re essentially saying that your feelings don’t matter. It’s a way to make you feel like you’re overreacting. And if a narcissistic coworker steals credit for your work and brushes it off with, “I didn’t mean it like that. I thought we were a team,” it’s another way of disregarding your feelings. They want you to believe that you’re making a big deal out of nothing.
Number 3: “No one else thinks that way. It’s just you.”
Saying “Nobody else thinks that” is super narcissistic. When someone goes, “Everyone else thinks this. Nobody else thinks that,” they’re basically trying to make you feel small and alone. They want you to think they’re the only one who could possibly care about you, making you depend on them in an unhealthy way. It’s also their way of brushing off your feelings and experiences to make it look like they don’t matter. When the narcissist says you’re the only one who thinks a certain way, they’re trying to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid. That’s called gaslighting. And it’s a sneaky move to make you doubt your sanity, your thoughts, and what you’ve experienced. Basically, it’s a way to mess with your head and make you question what you know to be true.
So, maybe you’re worried about being bullied at the workplace. Well, the narcissist may say, “You’re the only one who feels like that.” But guess what? You’re definitely not alone in feeling that way. What the narcissist is doing is saying that to get control over you.
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