2. The person who speaks the truth.
The second person that the narcissist is intolerant toward is the person who speaks the truth, and when I say this, I mean they’re highly threatened by that. When you come along and say, “What you’re doing is inappropriate; I have some ideas, I have some notions of a very different nature from what you refer to as absolute correctness,” the narcissist reveals when they cannot tolerate that they’re highly invested not just in being right, but in being the standard-bearer. When you come along and say, “Well, your standard, A, is not very healthy, and B, it’s not the standard that I maintain,” then they can’t manage that. It’s like, “Well, I have to have everything true right according to me, and it’s all about me.”
Related: 9 Types of People Narcissists Run Away From.
That also reveals to us that narcissists reject the possibility that there can be equally and distinct responses to life events. For example, if the narcissist has one interpretation or a feeling or a reaction, and you come along and say, “Well, I feel very differently about that,” or “My interpretation is quite different,” it’s like there can’t possibly be any truth other than what I say is the truth when, in fact, there are a lot of things that aren’t necessarily that dogmatic. They can’t deal with that. I mean, how many personal experiences do we each have and share with each other? We have differences in cultural distinctions and influences, or just different lifestyle experiences, etc. The narcissist is like, “Well, if you bring that to the equation, I don’t know what to do with that.”
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
In addition, narcissists are close-minded. When they can’t tolerate somebody who speaks truth to them, it illustrates, “I’m close-minded, and I don’t mind letting you know you’re wrong.” They go into a very high defense mode and make no mistake, when they become highly defensive, what they’re saying is, “I’m threatened; I feel afraid of you. Your distinctive, your truth that you try to put onto me, scares me.” They will not say that correctness, in their mind, supersedes any kind of goodness, and in their mind, it’s like, “Well, you need to remember I’m superior.” That’s why you can’t tell your truth to me because I own the superior truth. Of course, this then sets them up to be constant invalidators, and you have to be put in your place when you are wrong. They will argue until they just finally wear you down. They have zero growth in their personal life.
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