Number 6: You blame yourself.
When narcissists start carrying out their real intentions, everything in your relationship changes from best to worst, but the narcissist escapes the blame by making you feel it yourself instead. They start to use the guilt-tripping tactic. What is guilt-tripping? They make you take responsibility for the terrible happening, and then induce you to do something they want. You feel bad so you submit to their wishes, but simply doing so, does not make the worst situation better. So you start to question yourself over time: “Have I done something wrong that made them upset?”
You feel guilty and blame yourself. The “I should have’s” start flooding your mind, then you keep giving them their wants because you believe that yielding to their wishes will make up for the fault you think you have done them. The thing is everything goes according to the narcissist’s plan if this happens. They stick to you as they can now easily manipulate you, implying that you should feel grateful that they stuck on you despite your shortcomings.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 7: You lose your identity.
Abuse often inflicts fear on its victims. Anxiety and fear could lead a person to forget about one’s identity, regardless of their willingness or unwillingness to change themselves. This is because the victim tends to adjust one’s identity to accommodate the narcissist’s wants. Victims do it to avoid further abuse. However, the abuse only worsens, leading them to become a stranger, even to their own selves; gradually losing their self-identity, and becoming the person that narcissists perceive them to be.
Number 8: You feel becoming a pushover.
Narcissists do not care about limits. You may surround yourself with boundaries, but they have so many tactics under their sleeves to get through such limitations. They could even tear it down if they want to. In the end, you become a literal doormat whom people could easily trample on; one who cannot say no to anything. You say yes to anybody’s requests regardless of the difficulty. You apologize if you are unable to meet their demands, totally becoming a people-pleasing pushover.
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