1. THAT WAS IN THE PAST.
This is how narcissists draw a line through your words, put it in the past, but it’s all in the past now. This is done to make their bad deed unimportant; it’s as if it doesn’t matter simply because it occurred prior to the present. That doesn’t make sense if you think about it. Imagine being pulled over by the cops for speeding at 100 miles per hour. When you explain that it happened in the past, I’m confident they’ll let you go. Will they?
2. YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT.
This phrase simply informs the victim that they are wrong for continuing to be upset about whatever the abuser did to upset them. Narcissists want their victims to put up with their abuse for as long as they can without complaining. They have a good probability of convincing their victim to continue to tolerate abuse if they can make them feel horrible about themselves or even ashamed of being unhappy.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
3. YOU’RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING.
The narcissist may cause you pain and disappointment; they, on the other hand, criticize your complaining. Rather than confronting the problem, they transfer the blame away from them and place it on your response once more. Even if you have every right to express your dissatisfaction, this demonstrates that the narcissist is unconcerned about your sentiments and has no intention of changing their ways. They’d rather weaken you so they may continue to harm you.
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